WHAT!! UR ONLY 25??? (Part 3)

YEAP! since the time i was rushed to the A&E and being stabilised examined,ECG-ed,shots and all that drama,i get the same repetitive sentence.I dont know if i should feel insulted or not! i thought im CUTE! (self praise IS still a praise :p)
Ironically the on call doctors are of the same age as me -____-


So anyway i was stuck on the A&E bed as they cant decide the-next-step till they get the xrays and specialists to come in.which would be around 8ish in the morning whereby its bout sahur time.i was dozing on off,cant really sleep but i was given painkillers till it wore off and i was crying,and i still remember this particular feeling when i told the nurse that the pain is back,she came and gave me a higher dosage thru drip.Just as she release the meds from the syringe,i could literally feel my whole entire body shrivelled down.like terus jadi lemah longlai.like letting go a looooooooong sigh.


My bp was really high the nurses were insisting i do not get out of bed and that i need to sleep.rest.but i needed to PEE.so they advise to put me on pee bag,and i obliged.i mean i experienced it before and i was okay with it.but just as i got hooked up.i cried again! (ya i got lots of tears!) and insist demand and absolutely refuse it.i wanted it out out out! i couldnt take it.would take sex anytime anyday rather then being strapped to that ungodly thing again!!

So prior to 9am i was wheeled out in bed for xrays.Its my first time in Sg Buloh hospital,and all i could see were their ceilings mostly.After that the specialist with a whole bunch of MO tagged along and review my case.it was a bit blur from there.they were grilling me bout my past medical history and the specialist were saying my creatinine level was thousands more then it should be.i was confused.then he said that i need to go in for a minor minor surgery to insert an IJC at my neck.i was very very confused.heck i din even know what the hell was an IJC.


I finally had to.I had to do the thing i dreaded the most.The thing i have been avoiding.I had to call my mother.i briefed the doctor,that he needs to speak to her as i sure as hell couldnt explain it and he agreed.nice fella i tell ya.and cute too in a slight nerdy but not bad can do kinda way.

"Hello,mummy.I am in the hospital.Wait ah"

i could hear her kinda loud tone, 'WHAT!?"


The doctor took over the call ,i forgot his name,totally but i tink it might start wit 'R' . He was jabbering about very professionally in medical terms and such,and mum told him she will call my cousins and ask them to speak to him for better understanding as she is very blur as i kinda threw a bomb without warning.(my cousins are doctors)

So cousin Naren called and spoke to the doctor again and then he spoke to me consoling me saying its just a minor insertion,at that point i was already in the mini operating room / teather and he assured me he would brief mum.and then i was put on anaesthetic.i still did not know what the hell they are actually inserting in me.all i know its 20cm's loooong.i could not feel the pain,however i could feel the insertions and hear the sewing of stiches!

Then i was wheeled off to the Haemodylisis Unit.At that point,i still have no freaking idea.what the hell is going on.what is next! they are all explaining me in medical terms.how da fuck should i know.finally i slowly pieced it together,google it and such.While waiting to start,the nurses realize my IJC have not been xrayed,so they cannot start till it is determined that it was inserted correctly.I had to wait nearly an hour (in bed) for them to send me for xray! and yea  u guessed it! they inserted the IJC too deep ,and had to restich again! So an MO whom i befriended actually the one who will assist to perform the quick stiching and adjusting.As was waiting for him (nearly 1 hour plus!) i was again in pain,my tummy hurts,painkillers have totally wore off.i was moaning in pain,and again but this time quite full blown crying.Just as i was doing so,my elder brother Daim appeared from afar he was walking towards me.I was soo relieved and happy yet still crying to see him.I still remember his expression.It was sad.yet i couldnt really describe the feeling of how proud happy i am to see him.he cares.

Till next post..to be continued

Previous short blog entry on my medical condition back in 2009 (click!)

Part 2

Been feeling really sucky these past few days.my back hurts like hell.i need a massage.a darn good one.professionals not some thai or china girls reject.

Anyhow i shall picked up where i left off..whereby after seeing the second doctor and being treated as normal food poisoning case,which i so beg to differ.i never got any better,my tummy still continue to swell like fuck and the pain is constant.the next day i was wallowing badly.i was still in denial.i refuse to reach out to anyone plus i was home alone for that particular weekend.i tried my best to sleep it off,comforting myself.but i was still in pain.

I remember posting a post on FB and my ex colleague Arien commented asking me if i was okay.i have not spoken to her for more then a year and next thing i know,i was on the phone crying my eyes out to her and she keep assuring me to go to the hospital and check what is wrong,i was still hesitant and refusing to go.i was very scared to know what is wrong with me was something serious.i told her i would think about it and hung up.

After about an hour moping in bed,i finally decide to call the hospital first, i requested to speak to a doc,and doc advised that i need to get in to Emergency for checkup.I told them i dont really know the way to hospital sg buloh from my place she said i can call the ambulance.So then i went on google trying to study the route.i fairly know the place but not so sure as to GET there.

When i finally got the strength to reach my car ,on the way out of the apartment,i flagged down a young couple to ask for directions,the guy took pity on me asking if i was able to drive and even offered to take me,but i refused and braved myself.when in reached the tol,it was already midnight i asked the tol collector also for directions,she was a bit vague and i was not really hearing as i was concentrating on my pain and to get there soon that i TOTALLY FORGOT the time and that im cashless as atm shuts down at midnight! 

With so many worries,i totally did not get to the right route.and it was really dark,street lights were bit dim.i was on the kepong route heading towards the sg buloh hospital.i was not familiar at all the place.i decided to wing it.and hell it was scary that night.plus bit lonely.i got scared and not confident on the route i took.so i decided to uturn back from where i came from,which would 110% lead me back to the TOL ! and i had no freaking money with me that time. I was sooo fucking stressed out,i parked by the side of the road and just cried cried cried my eyes out.i felt like i was at my lowest low.i did not know who to call,and that i was so close to my house yet to far as was seperated by a freaking tol booth.for a good ten minutes of tears.i stopped and just decide to go ahead.i din know what i was going to do by i braced myself for whatever.i mean its only freaking RM1.60 ! So when i head to the last booth,i cried to the staff,i told her i got lost on the way to the hospital and told her the atms are not working i cant do anything and i just need to get thru.She then wrote me a slip and let me thru.

From that point forth i was really speeding as i was so mad.course of my bad habit of always using up all my cash first only to the atm.i decided to finally give up going to the hospital and head home.As soon as i unlock my apartment door,i was out of breath very weak and dizzy angry and in wonder why was it soo damn hard for me to get to the hospital for help.Deep down i felt like 'something' is stopping me from going to the hospital on my own.

I took the last step.I called 999. (i would like to clarify since i have been getting a lot of questions as how to dial the emergency number thru hp ! YES EVERYONE JUST DIAL '999' i was connected quite fast and the agent connected me to Sg Buloh Hospital , i was to 'plead' my case to them.I was quite ticked off,as the staff there was a bit hesitant to come get me! they ask why din i ask neighbours for help? firstly its nearly 1am and secondly,i dont mix with neighbours.i mean come on how many of you honestly know your neighbours these days for those who live in high rise buildings?!!! i was practically shouting at them,then finally they obliged and ask to unlock the doors.Plus they asked me if i was able to walk i told them i could but very slow as i was weak.

So i forced myself out of bed.took extra pairs of underwear and my hp charger.thats it. i went to the door and waited.luckily it took them only about 20mins to reach.but to my dismay NO WHEELCHAIR.WTF! plus the MO mentioned .' tadi bukan ckp bleeding cedera ke?' i was soo pissed,i quickly snubbed and say 'no! i din say that!' after that they HAD TO WAIT FOR ME TO LOCK UP MY DOORS and escort me down.there was this big ambulance waiting below.they help me up to it but did not even lie me down.wtf wtf!!yes laugh all you want! they thought i might not be a serious case.i really wanted to SLAP both of them.

When the ambulance reached the hospital,the bloody MO at first din bother to help me down of the freaking ambulance! shit!! at that point i lost hope towards gov hosps and staffs and thought the horror stories of cruel nurses will be true.i asked for wheelchair which was LAYING THERE NEXT TO ME one of the staffs say no one to push it as shorthanded (nearly 2 something in the morning) wtf wtf i walked myself in,and waited for my number.

The waiting area was surprisingly full,there were many sick people at that time.After bout 15 minutes waiting i finally got to see another MO inside,thank GOD from then on i met all the best hospital people ever.I explained my pain i showed my medications,i explained my medical history.i told the truth that i had stopped taking my BP meds forawhile.The MO quickly took my BP which not surprisingly was skyrocket high and he immediately dispatched for a wheelchair and sent me off to the A&E room.

Part 3 soon. I doing my best to tell my story in detail and as  much as my memory serves me.Message or leave me comments.

Part 1

So im back as promised.typing this away via phone.anyway ive been thinking for awhile as to where do i start explaining.yet im still indecisive.

I think it all started late last year when i realized my appetite has changed.i couldnt finish my food.my usual normal portion.my cousin and brother commented on it.but i brush it off taking it as a good way to lose my fats.during my days at my last company i usually have a heavy breakfast lots water during lunch and really small portion for dinner or none at all.i was honestly happy that i was able to control what i eat.

Come early July i started to feel really weak.and was coughing so badly and could barely breathe.really struggling for oxygen and was coughing super baaad! I couldnt sleep like normal.i had to sit upright to sleep.

I went for consultation over the counter pharmacist who prescribed me cough syrup which i dutifully take 3 times daily but to no avail.nothing improved.i went back again to the pharmacist and request for stronger ones that could knock me out for some shut eye and was given a stronger dosage,i was able to sleep a bit but still feel really weak and the irritating cough persists.after i finished my second bottle of cough syrup.i realized i am so not getting better at all and also with my dad nagging me with his words "you tak ingat dulu u mcm ni masuk ICU" i finally decide to go see the doctor.

The reason i was so hesitant to see the doc is that i am afraid.i am afraid that my situation may be worse than expected.i dont want to know.Anyhow the doc write me off with standard URTI symptoms.was given strong antibiotics and nebulizer.This time after about nearly 2 weeks plus suffering my cough finally subsided.gone.However i still feel so weak and short of breath and new problem arised.my tummy bloated so much till i look like 5 months preggers.seriously.no joke.it expand so much it hurts! Its worse than PMS pain.and its a constant pain.i couldnt sleep again.so far i couldnt sleep for more then half of July 2012.walking short distance is torture for me.and i take a really long time to even get up from bed or get out frm the car as i feel its such a chore.

I called daddy crying that im in pain i needed extra cash to ser the doctor.that was the first day of the Ramadhan month.i called nearly buka puasa time and my dad was actually on the way home with all the buka puasa dishes.he had to divert to the bank and such resulted him being really late.

As soon as he banked in i hurled myself up to go to the clinic.Damansara Perdana area have very very little clinic and ALL was closed! I was literally crying while driving around as my tummy was in so much pain.when i finally found a clinic in Kota i was still crying during registration.i was treated with food poisoning.which doesnt make much sense as i have not been eating much for the past few weeks!!

Shall stop here.kinda hungry ler cant concentrate already.part 2 soon!

First

Hello world of blogging.I have finally decided to start blogging back again after more then 2 years AWOL.New blog title.New blog url.New ramblings.

I have much to explain and say.The main reason I decide to start up this blog is to explain.To explain to curious friends and ex skool mates and basically to everyone.who is interested about my current medical condition.I have been getting loads of questions and have tirelessly explained.I guess talking bout it here makes it much more easier later.

I really want this to work.I really miss expressing my emotions and thoughts.I ADMIT i have been really really super rustic and grammatically downhill but with so much time in hand now I will need to surely impose some strict rules unto myself to dutifully update this blog.

Leave me comments.talk to me.ask me things.i wish to also say,i am not really the same person you used to read in my previous blog at 'Epitome of Imperfection' . (which btw i have closed temporarily)

Promise on a proper update by tomorrow.